I came across this while exploring my unfinished small fandom archives. A WIP, I guess. Work In Cessation more like it. Read it aloud and you'll find the rhythm better. I can't believe I wrote something this beautiful...or maybe it's just me. If you've seen The Lost Boys, you'll get it.

He missed the old days, before the vampires
Before the nights of games and lights
Before the screech of dirt bike tires
And sunglasses that hid his brother's eyes.

He recalled the drowsy warmth of Saturday
Cartoons and a quilt where cereal spilt
And comic books with creased pages lay
Where Michael shared his jokes with him.

Everybody knows two things: 1) A movie is never as good as the literature upon which it is based, and 2) A movie's sequel never does as well as its predecessor.

It seems like the producers are going from consideration to commencement with Ghost Rider 2, which sends waves of horror rippling through every fiber of my pink mortal guts. The first Ghost Rider was mildly entertaining at best. And I'm a fan. There was no character development, it lacked a solid storyline, the plot had more holes than Blackburn, Lancashire, and I firmly believe that the only reason a copy of the screenplay cannot be obtained from the internet is because Mark Steven Johnson, who couldn't write directions out of a cardboard box, is trying to cover up his hack-and-slash job of mangling the putrid puddle of pus he'd already offered up as a screenplay.

Yeah, those are harsh words. But I believe I'm justified in my convictions. Ghost Rider could have been an epic movie of pure yes, but it wasn't. And I know that Johnson had a hand in selling the film short of its potential. A lot of people did, including the actors themselves. It was dumbed down and raped from its comic form, washed, wrung, hung to dry, and translated into a tangled jumble of CG-garbage. While I enjoy the movie for my own sick intents and purposes, I don't approve of what was done in order to bring one of the coolest Marvel legends to the masses.

Bottom line: It could have been done better. A lot better.

I dread the even bigger flop that GR2 will bring. It makes me sick just to think of it. I can't imaging fucking up GR more than it's already been fucked, but unlike most of the GR filmmakers, I've got an imagination and the things I'm seeing scare the shit out of me. Unless Johnson took a hike, had an epiphany, or learned to write those directions out of that cardboard box, my hopes are living downstairs with Satan. (Who says that if Hell gets anymore bad rep that he'll unleash Armageddon three years early.)

Well, I finally said the hell with it and hauled in the new look for my domain before it's 100% done. I've got a lot of loose ends to fix, and I hadn't planned on keeping all the different looking subdomains; I'd wanted everything to look a bit more contiguous, but that'll come later. In fact, this journal entry is going to be seeing double since I've got my LJ feed linked to the main page of my site. I'm thinking of giving my journal layout a similar makeover.

And if you're wondering why I went with the rainbow-black-blue theme, if you ever saw my site before this new overhaul, you'll understand why. Black on white. White rice and boiled chicken. I've seen tax audit forms with more color than my old page. I've been starved for color. And darkness. Black is good since it fits with about 75% of my subdomains.

Nostalgia: Remember your first webpage? Yeah, the one with neon green links and super-lossy JPEGS and random anime GIFs all over the place? Of course it had a black background. Black is a safe color for beginners. Then you get older and decide to "come into the light" and at least pretend to be all design-savvy and sauve like all the PHP pricks, and then after a while you realize that you were having more fun with the kids, so you regress and join them again. I believe this is called the Midlife Crisis of Web Designers.

Closing statement: Made a new music video. Started last night and finished this morning. Fastest one I've made yet. Of course it looks awesomely horrible on YouTube, but until I get it uploaded to Vimeo you can check it out in HD (but even that sucks). A Weirdsville fanvid, a relatively unknown film with relatively unknown music, ngk. Don't let Assemblage 23's angsty soundtrack fool you--the film's a comedy. I just picked out the serious parts. Speaking of which, new fandom in the house y'all. No doubt in my mind who my muse is anymore.

Too bad there isn't a way to link my LJ via RSS to my Twitter updates...at least none that I know of. Right now I'm updating Twitter more often than my journal. It's always easier to write a one-liner, click "post" and be done with it. Miraculously, some of my lines are actually almost funny.

The time changes tonight? I'd totally forgotten. Just like I'd forgotten about my spring break, which is this week. Where is my brain these days?...oh wait. I know exactly where it is: lost in the armpit of Nowhere with Wes Bentley and Judas Priest.

Oh right. I saw this picture of Elvis on a birthday card recently and I've been staring at it ever since. Is it not monumental? That's a rhetorical question, so you're not obligated.



P.S. Hey, I may not be an Elvis fan, but I hate your mustache.

It is going to take me a long time to construct my new domain layout. But it's going to be so damned awesome that it'll be worth it. I've already incorporated an RSS feed of my LJ to be on the main page, so it'll actually look a bit more occupied than a haunted house. I'm still working on getting graphical design ideas pooled, so I haven't even had time to worry about things like a) how I'm going to archive my fics from every fandom, b) how I'm going to archive my art, and c) provide some sort of commenting system where people can leave feedback. I'm thinking about forgetting c though, since it sounds like a recipe for spam-related disaster.

I've been getting comments from people about bringing back my Ronin Warriors fansite. It's going to be a huge task, but I promise that it'll get taken care of. I'm going to need to pull out HTML files from 2002 and vigorously fix the fuck out of them, since those were the days of Frontpage and a Bender who didn't care about sloppy webpage anatomy. Seriously, Dreamweaver is a godsend. I can't imagine trying to create my new site in MS Expression.

Personal life? Not much happening. I mean it. I've been so busy with homework and being sick this past month that I haven't touched any of my fics. And with this website business distracting me, I'm beginning to get that what-if-this-story-becomes-like-all-the-others-I-haven't-finished anxiety. I feel like I'm standing on the side of the road and watching the last bus to Vegas slowly pull away, and I want to run after it but my left hand is cuffed to the busstop bench and I've got a hacksaw in my right hand . . . get the picture?

I have spent entirely too much time making my new flash-based fanpage, but I think it was worth it, even if it never gets visited.

ALL HELL, a Ghost Rider travesty.

I've got so much to do it's unbelievable. Fics to write, presents to wrap, emails to reply to, correspondences to catch up with . . . And I thought the holidays were for relaxing.

¡NO!

I feel sometimes that I refrain from being open about certain [fandom] things because I'm afraid of what people might think of me. e.g., "Bender, you're writing fics for a lame-ass fandom/drawing mpreg/selling your body for fanservice? I just lost all respect for you. Go swallow a knife and die." Those kinds of things.

Back when I was a kid (i.e., 18) I didn't have any problem pulling this crazy gay-yaoi-whatever crap. I did it all the time, often seriously. Why am I having such a hard time now being open with it?

I think I'm afraid of being accused of having no integrity (i.e., being called a fangirl). That's my ultimate nightmare, which just goes to show what a pompous piece of shit I am. I shouldn't care what others think about me or my fandoms. That's between me and Satan and God. All I know is I've gotta get over this fear of being labeled, and more importantly, get on Somebody's good side soon, because I need a place to go when I die, and right now I'm not welcome in Heaven or Hell.

Comments and short therapeutic sessions are greatly welcomed.

EDIT: Good god, you guys. Your overwhelming show of support humbles and shames me. I will strive to think outside myself and not let labels and generalizations get me down. Sometimes I need a swift talking-to like this, and I appreciate everyone who wasn't afraid to tell it like it is. I am truly fortunate to know each and every one of you. Thank you so much.

The new profile setup for LJ blows on ice. Speaking of ice, my hands are.

For the first time in a long time I think I'm nearing the completion (1 more chapter to go) of a 10+ chapter fanfiction, something I haven't done in...uh...damn...you're not gonna believe this...

Ever.

I'm ashamed. In all my years of writing, this in inexcusable. What kind of a slacker author am I? All of my fanfictions that are greater than ten chapters are still unfinished. Six total. The oldest is from 2002, back in my days of Ronin fandom. I still occasionally get reviews and death threats for that one.

This piques my interest. What is it about this particular story that prompted me to complete it so soon (and at all)? A solid month of feverish writing fueled by fandom obsession alone? Come on. I've never loved anything that violently before in my life. And of all the silly ass-backward fandoms I could get into, mine had to be the one inspired by the godawful worst film ever created (not The Texas Chainsaw Massacre III, either). I just don't get it, Verne.

Another Ghost Rider/Judas Priest music video. This one is much better than my first, but that goes without saying. And it took me half as long. Best viewed in high quality.

If I never hear Turbo Lover or Hell Patrol for the next year...I'll be happy.

SO I HERD U LIEK FANVIDS?? LOL

Be sure to click "watch in high quality" just below the screen.